greed is evil

my weight have been hovering between 45.5 tp 47 kgs ever since the beautiful start of the bloody olevels.
the thing is im not actually really upset about how much i weight but rather how much bigger i have grown.
for those of u who think i look the same, it's not true
my excess flab is hidden under the loose uniform, loose clothes
i know im havent gone out much( less walking. i have been sitting down on my almost-flabby butt for hrs painfully trying my best to score As. )
sometimes it seems the only thing that can motivate,destress whatever me is food
when im stress i think food
when im taking a break, i snack infront of the tv or whatever.
sometimes when im depressed, i eat. it's called emotional eating but im dont binge only very rarely. i never really quite understand wny pple binge when they are sad,i do now cause im doing it now.
i find myself eating supper quite often.
and mac is usually what i get for supper. in fact last night i had mcspicy at 12.05 at night.

i m really disgusted with myself
i have gotten so use to eating, i even stuff my mouth when im full. i dont usually do this before.i dont know why i do this now, but i do. it isnt a pleasant feeling (bloated tummy and all) but my hands seem to have a life of its own, shoving food down my poor liitle throat whether i like it or not


my eating habits have really gone the better of me. my body as tone as a yellow rubber duck.
my probably once was fast metabolism rate is as slow as an aged leopard due to lack of excercise.
it cant cope with all the food im eating at this alarming rate.
thus the extra kilos of trans fat, whatever shittty fats that clogs up my veins, causing heart dieases

i cant wait for olevels to be over so i can have time to whip myself into shape.
i WANT TO EXERCISE!!!
pls be over quick olevels, before i turn into a fat obese woman and die alone on my fat couch because the massive deposits of fats on my neck choked my airway

if i dont lose the fats after one mths tops, im going for a liposuction lolol